a metal detectorist walks onto the beach......

A guy is metal detecting along a Florida beach when he comes
across a lamp partially buried in the sand.
He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. A genie appears
and tells him he has been granted one wish.
The guy thinks for a moment and says,

"I want to live forever."
"Sorry," said the genie,
"I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

"OK then, I want to die after the Democrats balance the budget
and eliminate the debt."


"You are a crafty little bas***d," said the genie..................

Lol that's a good one!!

Hahaha!

That's pretty good!

Good one Tri.

A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?" The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous enough to share your good fortune." The liberal said, "I'm a liberal. I'm always happy to share." The genie said, "O.K., then, whatever you wish for, I'll give every conservative in the country two of it. What's your first wish?" "I would like a new sports car." "O.K., you've got it, and every conservative in the country gets two sports cars. What's your second wish?" "I'd like a million dollars." "O.K., you get a million dollars, every conservative gets two million dollars. What's your third and final wish?" "Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."

I think this one got me booted from Findmall for the 2nd time.

Ha!.... Pretty slick there go-reb.
Thanks for SHARING.

Two great jokes! Thanks guys.

search and recovery Wrote:
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> Two great jokes! Thanks guys.

Agreed!

Funny soxo!

LOL, Is Go Rebs the only liberal here?

hahaha. Really funny. Well, beach is not a good place for "metal detecting". I've been there twice without finding anything.

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"
The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please."
The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had.
The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?"
The man answered "oh, about 164."
The robot then proceeded to discuss the theory of relativity, inter-steller space travel, the latest medical break throughs, etc.
The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A Martini please."
Again it was superb. The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"
This time the man answered, "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing Nascar racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to do this weekend.
The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool. Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ??"
This time the man drawled out "Uh, 'bout 50."
The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked,
"A-r-e y-o-u s-t-i-l-l g-l-a-d y-o-u v-o-t-e-d f-o-r O-B-A-M-A?"

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin and a tea party patriot walk into a bar. The bartender says, “I’m surprised to see you guys together!” The tea party patriot says, “Why are you surprised? All of my beliefs are based on the principles of the Founding Fathers!” Jefferson says, “Indeed, I wrote, ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal’ while schtupping my slaves.” Washington says, “I too was a slaveholder. And as ‘father of our country,’ I led the military against my own citizens in the Whiskey Rebellion because they refused to pay taxes.” And Franklin says, “Yeah, I pretended to be a Puritan, yet rarely attended church and fathered an illegitimate son.” The bartender says, “So what you have in common is that you’re all hypocrites?” “No,” says Franklin. “What we have in common is that we’re all living in the 18th century.”