and thats when the fight started...........

A man and his wife walk into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already... I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!'

The dentist thinks to himself, "This guy is really a brave man, asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain." So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it, sir?"

The man turns to his wife and says, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him...."

and thats when the fight started.........

The wife comes home early and finds her husband in their bed making love to a very attractive young woman. She takes one look and cries, "You disrespectful pig! How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I'm filing force divorce!"

The husband replies, "Hang on just a minute, let me explain. I was getting into the car to drive home from work when this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days."

"So, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments."

"Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes. So I threw them away and I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, but you don't wear because I don't have good taste."

"I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique but don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

"She was so grateful for my kindness that she turned to me with tears in her eyes and asked, "Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"

and thats when the fight started.........

A couple with a teenage son who hadn't shown any indications regarding a career path decided to try a little test.

They put a ten-dollar bill, a Bible and a bottle of whiskey on the dining room table. Their belief was that if he takes the money, he will be a businessman; if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest; but if he takes the bottle of whiskey he will be a drunkard. They left him a note telling him he could have his choice of the items. When they saw him arriving home they hid in a closet to watch him and see what he selected.

The son read the note and put the ten-dollar bill in his pocket. He opened the bottle and took a swig while he picked up the Bible and flipped through it. Then he left the room with all three items.

The father was aghast and said, "Damn! It's even worse than I ever imagined..."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"He's gonna be a politician!"

and thats when the fight started........

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews And testing were done, there were 3 finalists; Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of The men to a large metal door and handed Him a gun.

‘We must know that you will follow your Instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting In a chair … . Kill her!!’

The man said, ‘You can’t be serious. I could Never shoot my wife.’ The agent said, ‘Then you’re not the right man For this
job. Take your wife and go home.’

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was Quiet for about 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, ‘I tried, But I can’t kill my wife.’ The agent said, ‘You don’t Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.’

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one After another. They heard screaming, crashing,

Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

‘This gun is loaded with blanks’ she said. ‘I had to Beat him to death with the chair.’

and thats when the fight started.......

Flurry-------Do you own a detector???----Do you ever go detecting???----I'll bet you're just waiting till somebody asks this--right??? ---I currently own & use the CTX, Etrac, Deus & F-19.---I really like/enjoy each one of them & have done quite well with all of them.-----I don't get out as much as I used to but I'm still in the game (hobby)!----How about you???------------Del

D&P-OR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Flurry-------Do you own a detector???----Do you
> ever go detecting???----I'll bet you're just
> waiting till somebody asks this--right??? ---I
> currently own & use the CTX, Etrac, Deus &
> F-19.---I really like/enjoy each one of them &
> have done quite well with all of them.-----I don't
> get out as much as I used to but I'm still in the
> game (hobby)!----How about you???------------Del

And that's when the fight started....

Dude, I have to try some from the Walmart list!!

ozzie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> D&P-OR Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Flurry-------Do you own a detector???----Do you
> > ever go detecting???----I'll bet you're just
> > waiting till somebody asks this--right???
> ---I
> > currently own & use the CTX, Etrac, Deus &
> > F-19.---I really like/enjoy each one of them &
> > have done quite well with all of them.-----I
> don't
> > get out as much as I used to but I'm still in
> the
> > game (hobby)!----How about
> you???------------Del
>
> And that's when the fight started....


ha ha---I forgot to put that last line in Ozzie.

I just read all of this. This is some funny stuff!!!!! I could actually picture the wife standing there (in the final story) puffing the hair out of her eyes and perspiring and then telling the FBI what she told them. Flurry.......I bet that you are a HOOT at parties!!!!! Funny stuff. I needed the laugh(s)! Thanks!

I told her b really did rhyme with itch, that's..................... when I started running, still running! Moral of story " a good run is better than a poor stand" ?

A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants...
and that's when the giggling started.

Past(or)Tom
Using a Legend, a Deus 2, an Equinox 800, a Tarsacci MDT 8000, & a few others...
with my beloved, fading Corgi, Sadie